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By Brandie
Valenzuela
While I feel that a Family Night
is exactly whatever you decide to make of it, I have
found many parents would actually like to hear how
other families work their Family Night.
To start, I would say that
probably the most important goal in holding a
regular Family Night is to build family unity. If
you have a young family, and you don't currently
hold regular Family Nights, then starting them might
be a little easier for you, as young children
usually don't have a problem with playing a game and
having a snack with mom and day. If your children
are mostly in their teen years, you may find a
little more resistance, but if you are determined to
make this work for your family, you can accomplish
this. Just remember, the overall idea is to have
this one night set each week that everyone in your
family will know to be family night. This is a night
were television, phone calls, work, or even the best
video game is put on hold. Over time, with your
consistently holding of Family Night, your family
will learn to plan their own activities around this
special time.
If you are not currently holding
family nights, it is important to make it known to
your family just how important this is to you.
Set apart a time, in the next
week, where you can arrange a family meeting.
Be sure that everyone in your
family will be able to meet at this time, and let
everyone know that they are expected to be there.
When your prescheduled family
meeting time arrives, explain to your family that
you would like to begin holding weekly family
nights. With their help, compare everyone's
schedules and come up with one night each week that
you can set apart as families special night.
Be aware that in your family, you
might always have an obstacle in your way. For
example, you college aged son might tell you that he
has no night that would work for him. If something
like this comes up in your family meeting, it is
time once again to explain the importance of your
family coming together once a week, and that there
are 6 other nights of the week they each of you can
"do your own thing", but this one night is where we
put other things aside for about a hour.
Decide what day of the week you
will hold your family night, and then determine the
time. After this is all set, be sure to mark on your
calendar the day and time of your family night, so
that everyone will have a visual reminder.
I would also like to add that a
family night, doesn't have to be held at night. If
mornings or afternoons work better for you, then
plan them at that time. The key is here is to have
your family night once a week, every week...exactly
when they are, and what you do during them, is
totally up to your own individual family.
I would suggest that is you
haven't been holding a regular family night, that
they parents make the decision for the first one as
to what your family will do. Of course, this is just
a suggestion, and if you would like, you can assign
specific "jobs" from the start. Here is the
assignments we have in our own family night:
Conductor:
This person actually conducts the whole meeting.
Even our youngest (when he was 6 years old) does a
fantastic job of conducting. The conductor stands up
in front of everyone and thanks everyone for coming
to the family night. Since we only have a family of
four, the conductor has the option of offering a
prayer, or choosing a family member to do this.
If you have a larger family, you
can have some assigned the "job" of offering the
prayer (of if you wish, you can also omit the
prayer). After the prayer, the conductor then goes
around the room asking each family member what
he/she has planned for the coming week. At first, my
husband felt a little silly doing this considering
that they only thing he ever said was
"working"...but overtime, even he has learned to
included those little, yet important things ("Going
to Wal-mart with David to buy some new Hot Wheels",
etc.).
After the weekly plans are shared,
the conductor, then "turns the time over" to whoever
is next to do something. For example, if Mom is
giving a mini-lesson on something, the conductor
would say, "Now, I turn the time over to Mom for her
lesson". After each person is finished with their
"job", the conductor also thanks the person as well.
Lesson:
The family member that is assigned this gives a
mini-lesson (5 minutes or so). In our family, the
lesson is always on some principle. Sometimes the
lesson will be about being kind to our loved ones or
other times it could be on charity.
Activity/Game:
This is probably one of the most fun parts of family
night. The person assigned to activity gets to
choose what the family will actually do together.
Sometimes it might just be a board game or puzzle,
or maybe Dad will take the family out to the garage
to teach everyone how to change a tire.
Refreshments:
The family member who is assigned refreshment gets
to decide (with the help of mom or dad) what treat
the family will enjoy. Sometimes we have enjoyed a
trail mix while playing a board game. Other times,
we had make-your-own-sundaes or homemade cookies.
These are the assignment for our
family. We rotate the "jobs" every week, so if you
are conductor one week, you know that the next week
you will be lesson. On occasion, we will skip the
whole family night schedule and we will all go out
to a movie, or to play miniature golf.
Like I have mentioned before, it
doesn't matter what you do, or when you do it, the
only thing that matters is you do it together. Think
of what will work best for your family and do it!
These ideas and tips should help
you to get your own family nights started.
©2000 - Brandie Valenzuela
Brandie is the owner and editor of the Family First
site. Visit Family First at http://members.aol.com/BMValen/index.html
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