The 25 Cents Memory Call


By Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe

I called dad, but the line was busy. Today's conversation has been dubbed the "25 Cents Memory Call." As I waited impatiently for my AT&T 4110 cordless telephone's "last number redial" to work, I began to reminisce.

As is true with so many young girls, I had something special with my dad when I was growing up in Rockaway Beach, New York. There was a magical bond that still cements an adult relationship between a "mature" mother of three, grandmother of four, and active senior citizen.

Unlike today's dad, mine didn't use words like "bonding," "Quality time," "dumkop!" (dumbbell) or "playdates." He never felt so verbally tongue-tied that he mailed me a Hallmark card that began, "Between You and Me..."

No, dad didn't participate in "Jump for Joy" programs, Gymboree, or all-day conferences titled, "Child Care: The Bottom Line." He was too busy working in his butcher shop.

He did, however, compliment me when I wore those ultra feminine bouffant skirts filled with crinoline petticoats.

Our kitchen had a "Pushkey"--a Blue Box, and a framed sign that said: "Remember the poor--it costs nothing." We were never served a "Dr. Rutheimer" sandwich, or a Sheky Greene Stage Deli special: Pastrami, Corned Beef, Finlandia Swiss, Cole Slaw, and Russian dressing. We never knew from "nouvelle cuisine," "power lunching," or Carmel Kosher Imitation Chicken Flavored Fat.

I was reared in a home where you had two mealtime choices: take it or leave it. My classmates' school lunches contained Spam; mine contained "tant"--orange juice as good as your aunt Sally used to make, a brisket sandwich, and carrots (they're definitely good for the eyes! Ever see a rabbit with glasses?)

In our low-tech home (pre VCR, "boombox," computer or Bowie Twin Triple Hitter treble woofer speaker), we listened to the radio together: "The FBI in Peace and War," "My Friend Irma," "You Bet Your Lfe," and "Fannie Brice" as Baby Snooks. Rumor has it that my first words were "Vos you dere, Charlie?"

Dad never adhered to the motto, "Tout Bien ou Rien" - Everything Wonderful or Nothing At All." I learned at an early age the meaning of the word "compromise." (Compromise is the art of dividing a Sara Lee cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.)

It was dad, not a driving instructor, who taught me to operate our Nash Rambler. He began each lesson by saying, "Midge, drive with care. Life has no spare."

Dad followed the philosophy of "Don't just view it; do it!" We vacationed in the White Moutans (Bethlehem, NH), ice skated at the Brooklyn Ice Parlor, and (in 1943) enjoyed the Broadway show, "Tomorrow the World," starring Skippy Homeier.

When our first television set arrived, dad hung a 9" x l2" sign which read: "WARNING; Overexposure to this television can be hazardoud to your spirit and lead to complications such as borderline boredom, latent loneliness, and chronic cabin fever."

Dad was a milk-and-cookies parent (coined by David Elkind)--someone who has a "reverence for childhood as state of life which is just as valuable as any other and which must be preserved," and who therefore have "a relaxed attitude toward their children."

(Ring) "Hello."

"Hi, dad. It's Midge."

"I've been expecting your call, Midge."

. . . . . . . . . .


Return to HUMOROUS Index

Go Back

 

 
 
©1998-2012 Parenting Humor - Jokes for Kids and Parents All rights reserved.
No portion of this site may be copied or reproduced without prior written permission from ParentingHumor.com or Kelly Land. All trademarks & copyrights remain property of their respective owners. Site designed & hosted by: TheDesignShoppe.com


Need Help? Here's Our SiteMap. More Options: Google , Dmoz.

Disclaimer:
As a matter of full disclosure, ParentingHumor.com is supported by sponsored or affiliate and/or internet marketing 3rd party links. Sponsored listings and other 3rd party links are provided solely as a convenience to you and NOT necessarily as an endorsement by ParentingHumor.com
, of the contents on such third-party web sites unless otherwise clearly stated. ParentingHumor.com is not responsible for the content of linked third-party sites and does not make any representations regarding the content or accuracy of materials on such third-party web sites. If you decide to access linked third-party web sites, you do so at your own risk. ParentingHumor.com is not responsible for any loses incurred as a results of your usage of these 3rd party links. Users are encouraged to do their research & due diligence to avoid scams, something I have advocated from the inception of ParentingHumor.com. You accept these terms by using ParentingHumor.com.