By Christie A. Hansen
One morning at the breakfast table
I gave my three-year-old daughter a little quiz.
"Where do we get milk from?" I asked. "From cows,"
she responded. Pointing to her glass, I tried
another question. "And where does orange juice come
from?" Amanda's response -- "From horses."
Just when you think you've heard
it all, kids surprise you. For the past few weeks
I've been chuckling over all the funny things
readers' kids have said. Here are a few that had me
laughing out loud:
"One night I was babysitting my
three-year-old niece. While rocking her, she passed
a lot of gas. I looked at her and said, ‘Heidi, what
was that?' In deep thought she answered, ‘My bottom
snored.'" – C. Gordy
"My three-year-old son, Andy, and
I were discussing how much he has grown. Getting
excited he exclaimed, ‘When I grow up, I'n gonna be
bigger dan a wall!'" – L. Austin
"When my daughter, Angela, was
about four-years-old, she was in her grandpa's
bedroom while he was changing. A bit disgusted about
having a child watch his private activities, he
invited her to leave. She replied, ‘Don't worry,
Grandpa. I won't laugh.'" – B. Johnson
"One day my wife Sarah was in the
kitchen holding a pan of cornbread. There was only
one piece left. Sarah, attempting to teach our three
year old daughter, Amanda, some simple math, asked
her, ‘If I take one piece of cornbread out, what do
I have left?'Amanda looked at her, thought about it,
and said, ‘Crumbs?'" – M. Barry
"We have no idea where our
four-year-old daughter, Whitney, comes up with some
of her questions. Out of the blue she asked what the
word ‘practice' meant. I explained its meaning to
her. ‘So,' she said, ‘If I want to play the slide
trombone, I would have to practice?'"I guess so. –
"When Megan was three, we went to
a community Fourth of July breakfast. After we had
eaten, Megan's hands were very sticky from syrup. I
gave her a napkin. She tried to wipe her hands with
it, but was not having much success. Getting
frustrated, she handed it back to me and said, "Put
some lick on it, Mom." – S. Sabin
"One day several years ago, my
three-year-old daughter, Melanie, wandered into the
kitchen with her finger jammed up her nose.
‘Melanie!' I scolded, ‘Please don't pick your nose.'
‘Oh,' she explained, ‘I'm not pickin' my nose. I'm
just checkin' to see if it needs to be picked.'" –
"My husband is a
Neuropharmacologist, and every night at bedtime he
tells our four-year-old son about his day at work.
Apparently they were having some problems with a
drug they were developing, and he talked this over
with our son. The next morning as we stood in the
crowded lobby for nursery school, the teacher opened
the door and began greeting everyone. In a lull my
son piped up, ‘My daddy has a really bad drug
problem.'You could have heard a pin drop.
Fortunately, his teacher knew my husband's
profession, otherwise I would have had some
explaining to do." – Priss
"While at a popular restaurant
with my, then, three-year-old son, he let out a loud
burp. ‘Where are your manners?' I asked him. He
looked at me with a puzzled face and replied, ‘Don't
know Mommy. I must have left them in the car.'" –
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Christie A.
Hansen is a wife and mother of three young children.
She writes the weekly parenting column, "From the
Trenches", and plans to run a future column
featuring more funnies from readers' kids. If you
would like to submit a quote for consideration,
please e-mail it to her at email@example.com.
Check out more of her columns on-line at