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Be Silly. Be honest. Be kind.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Catch-22 Fantasies


By Diana Zimmerman

The children of immigrants, his father and I were city kids, growing up in the 50's and 60's, playing stickball and potsy on the sidewalks of Manhattan. Living in dingy, cramped apartments with thin walls, splintered floors, little privacy or space, we absorbed the idea that the key to a better life was education. So we worked hard, traveling to high school by rush-hour subway. Our parents scrimped; we won scholarships; we commuted to summer jobs in an office and a lab. We lived at home and went to school by bus, gleaning the best college and graduate school experiences that the city had to offer: Columbia, Hunter, NYU.

Newly married, we saved our money, shared a studio apartment and the dream of someday living in a real "house."

So it came to pass. Our first-born took his first steps on grass. He grew up in the wall-to-wall carpeted, carpool-driven suburbs. His childhood included Little League, trees outside his window, sleep-away camp, a basketball hoop in the driveway, and his own car to drive to high school. And of course he would go away to college, fulfilling our secret fantasies of living in a dorm, walking through the lushly green campus to his ivy-covered classrooms.

So there we were at Duke University, parent's visiting weekend, freshman year. As we stood shivering, not quite understanding why there was a bus stop outside his dorm, our son proceeded to recount HIS fantasy to us. "Someday, after I graduate, I'd really like to live in a little apartment in New York City -- I just love the idea of Manhattan, hard-wood floors, lots of people -- the energy, the excitement!

His father and I just looked at each other. Finally, the bus arrived to take us to West Campus and a sample session of his favorite sociology course: "The Urban Experience."

About the Author: A professional organizer who writes and speaks, Diana Zimmerman is the author of THE ULTIMATE COLLEGE CHECKLIST and YOUR FIRST APARTMENT, booklets in the "How Am I Supposed To Know That?" series for teenagers and young adults. Contact at: dfz@prodigy.net

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