By Gail Miller
Dear Kids,
It seems that speaking to you has
no effect whatever. Therefore I am appealing to you
in writing. You might think it is a pointless
letter, however I want you to take note and inwardly
digest. I will be asking questions later!
DIRTY UNDERWEAR - This applies
particularly to you Son, do not belong in the
bathroom, strewn round the kitchen floor, rolled up
in tight balls and stuffed down the couch or dropped
in front of the washing machine. Please place soiled
undergarments IN the round glass thing in the centre
of the washing machine cabinet.
BEDDING - appears to be in short
supply, at present. WHERE IS IT? Sheets which have
been tucked away in the cubby hole or under the bed
should be brought out immediately. If you have any
dirty linnen furtively hidden away, please deposit
in the round plastic tub outside the bathroom which
has the words "DIRTY WASHING" scrawled all around
it.
TOWELS - are not meant to be
dripping wet. Neither are they supposed to be left
on the bathroom floor - especially when in said
state! In future please fold towels up neatly and
place on the towel rail, which exists for .....
hanging towels on!
FRIENDS - from now on, will not be
allowed to stay over. Hippies, Goths and Punks are
not the brightest things to wake up to of a morning
especially when we have not been informed of their
presence. You never know what damage shocks like
that can cause at our age! As it is our house, from
now on it is only fair that we can walk around in it
how we like, when we like, without giving notice to
you lot and not having to come face to face with
Marylyn Manson first thing.
ANIMALS - are yours, not ours. If
they need feeding .... er .... feed them!
BISCUITS - although it is
heartwarming to know, you enjoy the biscuits your
Father and I fork out for week in, week out, I think
you are extracting the urine! For example, the day
before yesterday I bought 2 packets of digestives,
(1/2 a pack left) 1 packet each of bourbons, (3
biscuits left) chocolate chip cookies (1 biscuit
left) and jammy dodgers (NONE left) and barring
coming up on the lottery, we cannot finance this
level of patisserie!
BEDROOMS - have things moving in
them! Ceilings need vacuuming, paint needs dusting
and carpets need shining. Don't compare my bedroom.
I live with your Father but I'm having to work on
that one separately.
I hope you have understood this
letter children. It is Mum's law according to Mum.
Don't you know Mothers are always right, even when
they're wrong and don't you ever forget it! Hugs and
kisses.
Love Mummy
Based on a real letter sent to her
kids by my friend and colleague Jenni C.
About the Author: Gail Miller
is a freelance internet and business writer and
author of Wild Child - A Mother, A Son and ADHD
http://home.freeuk.net/theadhdgazette/wild She also
writes and publishes two British on line
newsletters; The ADD / ADHD Gazette - ADDGazette-subscribe@onelist.com
and UK Home Money Makers -
ukhomemoneymakers-subscribe@onelist.com |
