By Kimberly Ripley Ah, yes. The snow has finally fallen in the Northeast and a blanket of white now covers the ground. My back aches from shoveling and my asthma has kicked in at full force. Ho ho ho! It is indeed beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Until you look out in my back yard, that is. Thanks to Philly, our rather large adopted Grand-dog, our blanket of shimmering white has been magically transformed into a patchwork quilt of pale yellows and strategically patterned touches of brown. It's just beautiful. To creep through the intricate detail to tie out the happy holiday pooch requires expertise in military tactics. Ho ho ho! My daughter caught me completely off guard yesterday while we were riding to school. I have made it a practice to play Christmas music in our car, beginning right after Thanksgiving, for many years. It helps to put us all in the Christmas spirit, and by far, beats the horrid music played on the local radio stations. Or so I thought. Listening to a CD of holiday hits, I was returning to my younger days, lost in the bouncy beat of Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", when Elizabeth asked me a perplexing question. "Mommy, why would someone use a swear word in a Christmas song? Christmas is the birthday of Jesus!" "Well of course it is," I exclaimed. "But I've never heard any bad words in Christmas songs." "That lady is singing about pie. They're having pie, and they're putting a very bad word in front of it," she exclaimed. "What is it?" I asked. "I don't want to say it. It's a very bad word." "How about spelling it for me?" I asked. By now I was perplexed, wondering what it was this child had heard. And to think, a bad word in a Christmas song! "It's the F-word," she said quietly, a great deal of embarrassment in her voice. "The F-word!" I screamed. "It can't be!" "Put it back to the pie part," she calmly suggested. "That lady says that later we'll have some F-ing pie and we'll do some caroling!" I backed the CD to the appropriate spot. Brenda Lee, in her throaty voice sang, "Later we'll have some PUNKIN pie and we'll do some caroling." But if you listened with the imaginative mind of a nine-year old, it did in fact sound EXACTLY the way she heard it. Ho ho ho. Now even the Christmas songs were tainted. However I did have an incredible belly laugh after I'd dropped the kids off at school. Give it a listen. Pretend you don't know the words. You will undoubtedly be completely appalled. As a matter of fact, listen to it while you're on the way to the mall, about to use those backyard military tactics to weave in and out of the throngs of SLOW people. You know, the ones who stroll through the mall as if they have ALL DAY! When you've reached the point that you're ready to scream, or plow by the nice elderly lady with the headphones and the walker, remember the song. As disgusting as my daughter's interpretation is, I guarantee you'll have a silent chuckle! Ho ho ho!
About the Author, Kimberly Ripley: I am a wife and mother of five children. I love to travel, and this passion combined with my family's numerous escapades has provided ample fodder for my fiction and nonfiction endeavors. | 
