Out of the Mouth of Babes


By Amanda Johnson

Frequently, as parents, we wonder if we have landed on a strange uncharted new world. Life, as we know it, changes from the moment our children are born and sometimes from the moment they are conceived. But, we trudge on and love them with all of our hearts. Then, occasionally, they open their mouths and out comes something that again sends us off to that strange planet.

"JOSHUA DID IT"

One afternoon, I was sitting in my living room watching television with my three sons, Joshua 6-years, Alexander 3-years, and Justin 1-year, when I began to smell an aroma which could only mean someone had crapped their pants. I turned to my middle son, Alexander, who was the closest child to me, and asked him if he had pooped his pants. He said no. I pulled his pants back and looked. Sure enough, he had poop in his pants. I looked at him and asked, "Alex, if you didn't poop your pants, who did?" He looked me strait in the face and said, "Joshua."


"JUSTIN'S STREAM OF WATER"

One afternoon, I was in the kitchen talking on the phone when my 2-year old son, Justin came in. He was wearing only a diaper. He peed and the stream came out of his diaper, arched onto the floor, missing his diaper completely. He grabbed himself, looked at me with horror in his eyes, and said, "Mommy, Mommy, the water is coming out of me!"


"BAD HAIR DAY"

One afternoon, my mother and my two younger sisters, Ona (3years) and Madison (18months), were riding the public bus when a group of teenagers got on. The group of teenagers were dressed in the "grunge" look. They were dirty, like they hadn't bathed in several days. They all had several body piercing and spiked hair in various colors. My mother, while not be a judgmental person, pulled my sisters closer and tried to ignore the teenagers. My sister Ona, being the outgoing person she is, looked at one particular gentleman with spiked green hair and said, "You're having a really bad hair day." Luckily, the young man had a sense of humor.

Have you ever landed on this planet?

About the Author: I am the mother of four wonderful, but definately strange, children and a writer for over 16 years. I have also been operating a daycare center for over seven years. I write what I am passionate about, my children.

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