By Tricia Shaner
1.) The blasting airhorn of a
semi, as you are contorting your body over the front
seat, spooning strained peas into your toddler's
mouth
2.) "I got to go potty!" followed
by "Oops too late!"
3.) "Why am I sticking to this
toilet seat?" (while in a public restroom)
4.) Your child reading aloud what
is written on the public restroom stall!
5.) "Where is Jacob?" (10 miles
after you stopped at a gas station)
6.) silence...This means they are
up to something
7.) " I smell something burning."
This means either your motor is in flames or Junior
just set the back seat on fire with the lighter he
found at the last rest stop.
8.) "I think I'm carsick!" The
sudden flurry of activity in the van, after these
words, can be compaired to a panic-stricken
office,scrambling to get OUTSIDE, during a 7.5
earthquake.
9.) "I would like a spicy burrito
with extra guacomole." (Coming from the same child
that said #8)
10.) "No fair! Josh is chewing
gum!" (You know that you haven't had any gum since
yesterday, when they chewed it all. However, you
remember seeing your two year old extremely busy,
tugging something from under the table, at the
restaurant.)
11.) "What does this mean?" You
peer in the rear view mirror to see your child
extending his middle finger,giving you the bird.
After you choke on your tonsil, you find out that
the "nice man" in the car, that was behind us,
taught him this lovely gesture.
12.) "He's touching me! He's
looking at me! Are we there yet?" These are
guaranteed to make the vein in your husband's
forehead stand out, after he hears them for the 40th
time.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: I am a stay
at home mother of four, who is about to embark on a
road trip from Michigan all the way to Florida. (The
things I go through to be able to see a hulking,
black mouse that is guaranteed to scare the
daylights out of my children!) |
