 Q: If you peel my skin off, I
won't cry, but you will. What am I?
A: An onion.
Q: What has four legs one head but
only one foot?
A: A bed
Q: Where do cows go to have fun?
A: To the mooovies!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no body to go with!
Q: What do you call a cow in an
earthquake?
A: A milkshake!
Q: Why is a cat in the desert like
Christmas?
A: Because of its sandy claws!
Q: What notes does the
tightrope-musician have to worry about?
A: C sharp or B flat!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the
road?
A: To show the armadillo it could be done!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7
A: Because 7 8 9!
Q: Why did the man put his money
in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: Why won`t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Q: What did the porcupine say to
the cactus?
A: "Is that you, Mama?"
Q: What is black and white and
sleeps a lot?
A: A snoozepaper!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the
road?
A: He didn`t want to go to the barbecue!
Q: What did one plate say to the
other plate?
A: "Lunch is on me!"
Q: What is black and white and red
all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra!
Q: What do potatoes wear to bed?
A: Their yammies!
Q: What happened when the cow
jumped over the barbed wire fence?
A: It was an udder catastrophe!
Q: What do birds need when they
are sick?
A: A tweetment!
Q: What do you call a sheep with
no legs?
A: A cloud!
Q: What do you get when you cross
a bear and a skunk?
A: Winnie the 'pe-u'!
Q: What vegetable do you get when
King Kong walks through your garden?
A: Squash!
Q: What did one toilet say to the
other toilet?
A: You look a bit flushed!
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: What do you get when you cross
a telephone with a very big football player?
A: A wide receiver!
Q: Why did the man destroy his
piano?
A: He was looking for his keys!
Q: What do you call a 5000 pound
gorilla?
A: Sir!
Q: Why don't elephants smoke?
A: They can't fit their 'butts' in the ashtray!
Q: Why did Piglet look in the
toilet?
A: He was looking for Pooh.
Q: Why do cows use the doorbell?
A: Because their horns don't work!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the
road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!!!
Q: What do you have if you have
100 rabbits in a
row and 99 step back?
A: A receding hare line!
Q: Why did the skeleton play the
piano?
A: Because he didn`t have any organs!
Q: What time is it when a elephant
sits on a fence?
A: Time to get a new fence!
Q: How much money did the pirate
pay for his ear to get pierced?
A: A buck an ear!
Q: What is the difference between
broccoli and bogies?
A: Kids don`t like to eat broccoli!
Q: How do you stop a baby alien
from crying?
A: You rocket!
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why do elephant tusks stick
out?
A: Because their parents can`t afford braces!
Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken!
Q: What did the grape do when it
got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
Q: Why did the Turtle cross the
road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: What do you call a Fairy that
doesn't take baths?
A: Stinkerbell!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the
road?
A: To get to the body shop!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the
park?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q: What do you call a camel with
three humps?
A: Humphrey!
Q: What is black, white and red?
A: A newspaper!
Q: What is the smelliest sport?
A: Ping Pong!
Q: What do you call a boomerang
that doesn't come back?
A: A stick!
Q: Why did Donald Duck go to
college?
A: He wanted to be a wise quacker!
Q: What do you get when you cross
a snake and a kangaroo?
A: A jump rope!
Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder
to school?
A: He wanted to see what High School was like!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the
playground ?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q: Where do bees go to the
bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
Q: Why does it get hot after a
baseball game?
A: Because all the fans have left!
Q: What is black and white and
white all over?
A: A scared skunk!
Q: Why did the cookie go to see
the doctor?
A: He was feeling crummy!
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Q: How can you tell if a calendar
is popular?
A: It has a lot of dates!
Q: What do pigs put on sore toes?
A: Oinkment!
Q: How do you stop a skunk from
smelling?
A: Put a clothes peg on its nose!
Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a garage!
Q: What does a bee use to brush
its hair?
A: A honeycomb!
Q: What do you get when you cross
a cow with a rabbit?
A: Hare in your milk!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross
the road?
A: Because he didnt have the guts!
Q: What do you say to a skeleton
before he eats?
A: Bone appetit!
Q: What do you say to a skeleton
going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!
Q: What fruit teases you a lot?
A: A ba na..na..na..na..na!
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