To help distinguish the sprouts, I wrote their identities on a log in front. "Does 'radish' have two d's in it?" I hollered to Dan.

"No," he called back.

"Well, it does now," I muttered, unable to find a delete key on my magic marker. Next year I'll just use the first initials, unless we plant watermelon, eggplant, endive, dill and squash. Don't want to see WEEDS any more than necessary.

Each season we learn a little from our mistakes and that skimpy knowledge is finally paying off. Miracle of miracles, our crops are thriving this year. We already harvested some impressive (read: not too dinky) radishes. I should have videotaped that stranger-than-fiction story for the film at eleven.

If our crops matured all at once, I'd toss them into a colossal salad. Unfortunately each one gets done at a different time -- something like the meals I cook. What I need is a timer I can set for six weeks.

But crops aren't just for your dining pleasure. Corn mazes have become popular in recent years. Farmers carved life-size puzzles through their cornfields to attract would-be Houdinis and their wallets. It took a lady two hours to find her way out of a maize maze. "If you build it, they will get lost." I'd try something novel like that but our plantation is only four feet wide. Maybe we could start charging the aphids.

Some gardeners are even MORE creative. Take my friend in Washington, for instance. She and her hubby built a floral teepee for their young daughters to play in. They roped the framework together and wove dozens of strings to facilitate the flowers. I can picture Martha Stewart camping out in a tent like that.

Meanwhile we Corcorans still struggle with the basics, i.e., Can sunflowers be planted in the shade? Savvy gardeners keep journals to record what they did so they will remember the next time. Most years, we'd rather forget. But, gourd willing, this season will be different.

For more of Corky Corcoran's humor, see her weekly column in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram Online. Visit her site.