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Myth of Santa
My parents once told
me, "Son you will understand once you have kids of your
own!" (circa 1978). This was in response to me questioning
my parents generosity towards my sister who, in my
opinion, did not deserve a present at all. It would be
best served to spend the extra cash on that groovy
polyester shirt with the collar big enough to set sail on
the Queen Mary. (I grew up in the seventies).
Once again my parents were correct.
Santa does not really care whether we have been naughty or
nice. Its more a case of economics. We all want to give
our kids the best we can. Twenty year I would have
contracted a hitman to take out anyone who gave me
underwear for Christmas.
These days the it doesn't seem too bad
knowing that in exchange for a pair of new boxers I get to
provide our son with a talking Buzz Light Year. I get the
feeling that as you grow older you actually wear out
underwear faster anyway, digestive gases maybe?
Our son is now two and a half. Last
Christmas he was content to simply marvel at events as
they unfold. He had no needs or wants as my wife and I
casually strolled through Toy's 'R Us. Nor did he show any
interest at the multitude of items that flash, beep, talk,
burp, slurp, slop, pop, fly, or cry. He was, in his own
way, checking out the scene for next year.
This year it's a different story. Our
son has discovered the nature of WANT. But as parents of a
two year old we still have a secret weapon, SANTA.
<continued below>
I pity those whose kids have blown the
myth of Santa. For the parents of kids who have figured
out that Santa is really mom and dad loaded with late
night trips to Toys 'R' Us and a screwdriver the festive
season is like going to battle with the enemy knowing your
gun isn't loaded.
I am convinced Santa was concocted by a
genius of a parent whose child knew no bounds when it came
to "I WANT". I would like to buy the parent responsible
for the creation of Santa a beer and gather other thoughts
of wisdom from them, for he/she is truly the chosen one.
Santa, for the next week or so, is the
guardian of all things naughty in our household. Santa is
the ultimate secret agent who knows when you're behaving,
or not -- as the case may be. Santa has a "share-o-meter"
that can tell how generous you have been with other kids.
Santa's sleigh employs stealth technology that would make
the F117 bomber look like an elephant in an ant farm. That
folks is what Santa is capable of. Santa is the ultimate
in inducing well behaved, sit quietly, eat your greens,
play nicely, kind of kids.
All said and done, lets face it, as
parents it is human nature to give all we can to our kids.
So go out there face the hostile queue's at the checkout
counter. Stock up on batteries.
Use the myth of Santa anyway you like.
Get what you can out of the festive season.
I, for one, know that one day my son
will get a remote control car for which he may gain bonus
"sharing points" by letting Dad have a turn (or two, or
three... until my wife confiscates it from me and gives it
back to him) to go onto next years naughty or nice tally
counter.
You've got to love the myth of Santa!

Joseph de Guzman is a programmer with Verifone Australia,
now Hewlett Packard. Dad to Sam and husband to Kylie.
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