Over the holiday season we took the kids shopping at the mall near our home town to get some ideas from them for Christmas. So we walk into one of the local department stores and go our separate ways for a few minutes to look around. As I am making my way back I see my son, Alex, at a display table really engrossed in something. He sees me and waives me over. Melissa is coming in the opposite direction and he waives her over, too.

Alex says, Yall come and check out this cool game. So we get there and take a look but after a minute we finally ask, What is it? You see, there are four handles on this thing each attached to a wire.

Alex says, Yall each just pick up a handle, its really fun. So I grab one handle and Melissa grabs the other. We just stand there for a second and Melissa says, Ok, now what? Alex explains to us that a light will begin to rotate around the base of this thing and we are to pull the trigger to see who can capture the light first. It sounds easy enough, so we indulge him a little bit. We both watch this light go round and round, when I think I got it, I pull the trigger and thats when all hell broke lose.

I black out for a second but I am still on my feet when I come to. I feel this surge of electricity flowing through my body. I cant speak, my body tenses up and my muscles contract causing my hand to grip the handle even tighter so I cant let go. Melissa is looking at me like I have lost my mind, Alex is laughing so hard he is crying and I think he is about to pass out. (If he doesnt pass out soon, I plan to help him when this dang thing decides to let me go.)

Below my belt I feel a warm sensation. Im not quite sure if its just the electric current or if I have just peed my pants, Im afraid to look. Alex reaches over and hits a button and it finally turns me lose. Now Melissa is laughing at me because she realizes what is happening but she has not figured out that she should have let her handle go.

Alex changes the default button to her handle. (Thats my boy. Youre off the hook son.)

Melissas eyes cross, her laughing suddenly comes to a screeching halt as she is feeling the love. Alex starts to hit the button to turn it off and I say Not yet son, shes enjoying this. Slobber has officially found its way to her chin and her left eye brow is twitching. I finally give him the signal to shut it off and say to him Son, you better go. He takes off down the aisle as Melissa yells R-r-r-run F-f-f-forest R-r-r-run!
Good times. I tell ya what!


Author and Author's Bio: Wayne Carlan is a Mississippi boy who has been married for 18 years to his wife, Melissa. They have two teenage boys (Josh 16, Alex 15) who both attend Hancock High School where football great, Brett Favre was also a graduate. Wayne writes under the name of Dr. Philbilly which was created by his love of looking at life with lighthearted fun and homespun humor.


Wayne Carlan
waynecarlan @ yahoo.com