I Am Not Superwoman

I am NOT Superwoman!
by Kimberly Allard

Somehow, this is what many people call me. But this couldn't be farther from the truth! If I tell you my bio, maybe you would think so also. Let's start there.

I am the mother of five children. No, this doesn't make me Superwoman, though that alone might qualify. Let me explain further. I am the mother of five children, including one set of fraternal triplet girls who are 9 years old and entering fourth grade, one almost 4 year old daughter, and a 21 month old son. (No! I was NOT trying for a boy...don't go there, I will be upset. He was our surprise baby, and even then I wanted a matching set of girls. We love him anyway.) The triplets MIGHT slightly qualify me for Superwoman... especially when they are fighting, begging, or complaining. The 4 year old MIGHT qualify me for the Superwoman title when she is wrestling, teasing, or otherwise torturing her little brother.

But wait, there's more...

I am not a stay-at-home mother, even with 5 children, I am a teacher. I am a fourth grade teacher, with thirty some odd students. And since, in California, fourth grade is the first grade level outside of "reduced class size" parents are often surprised and overwhelmed by the amount of students in the classroom. Then they hear I have 5 of my own, and I get that ever famous comment: "I don't know how you do it!" Do I have
a choice? Hmmm, more on that later....

But wait, that's not all...

Ok, I am a mother to 5, and teacher to 30+, but I am also a student. I recently earned my Master's Degree and though it will take forever, I am still taking classes and working on a Doctorate degree.

Oh, and I am a wife, an artist, a stamper, a web designer, a writer, and a crocheter!

Sounds like I qualify for the Superwoman award by that profile, but...

No where in that bio does it say how insane I feel! Some people are impressed with the fact that I am still pursuing my education. Hey, it gets me out of the house for a couple hours a week. Even going to school is a break away from chaos. Some people are impressed that I teach so many students and at an age where kids start to get mouthy and harder to discipline. Believe it or not, this is ALSO sort of a break away!

Yes, 35 fourth graders are sometimes easier to take than 9 year old triplet girls (and two more)! The web design, stamping, crafts, etc. My husband cracks up anytime he hears that famous phrase I mentioned earlier "I don't know how you do it!" But you don't have a choice really. The kids are there, you are there, you can't send them back for a refund or leave them on a doorstep (well some might). You keep going, muddling through, playing things by ear and hoping that the silence that you might hear for a few moments DOESN'T mean they have unraveled all of the skeins of yarn in your closet to make a spider web, or greased their socks with butter to slide down the tile hallway faster than plain socks, or that the four year old has decided to draw....draw all over her little brother with
non-washable markers.

Yes, on the outside, I may appear as a Superwoman, but inside I am more like "Get-a-Grip woman." The volume in our household seems to always be on high. The phrase "not me" could be tallied daily. I feel like a
human domino game when it comes to cleaning the house. Wherever I go on the trail I am picking up or cleaning and think I have done a fantastic job, when I look back to where I had come and find a new mess has followed (this is when we hear "not me.").

The sentence "That's not fair" must have somehow been recorded. It seems to be on looping replay and piped through speakers in every room of our house. The triplets actually WEIGH their servings of ice cream to make sure that they are equal...even then, they will insist that one child's serving is larger than another's and put the blame with the controls or batteries on my scale.

Maybe I am Superwoman, but not the proud, hair-and-cape-flowing-in-the-wind version you might see on a Saturday morning cartoon. Maybe I am the Superwoman that drags herself in at the end of a long day full of rescues; the one who falls asleep in her tights on the couch, with a book opened to page 9 resting on her chest, and makeup smears around her eyes. The Superwoman that Superman tries to wake up...when she responds "not me" or "it's not fair" in her deep exhaustion.



Kimberly Allard is a mother, teacher, and student. She has lived in San Diego, California since the first grade. She participates in many creative outlets, enjoys occasional time to herself, and could really use some time alone with her husband! She tends to read fantasy books by choice, but also likes to read historical fiction and juvenile fiction (remember,
she's a teacher).