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Tell
Tale Symptoms You've Been Cooped Up With Kids Too Long
By Heather Jensen
1. You ask your husband what he wants on
his "sammie", your child’s name for a sandwich. You then
ask if he wants squares or triangles. Or worse,
automatically cut them into four child size portions and
remove the crusts.
2. You begin to treat
inanimate objects as human -- talking to shoes that won't
tie and conversing with teddy bears about soap operas.
3. You serve dinner to
guests on Bananas in Pajamas plates and hand them spoons
to eat with.
4. If your husband pauses
while eating, you automatically say, "Eat your dinner."
5. When your spouse
mispronounces a word or uses incorrect grammar, you
correct him. <continued below>
6. When the phone rings,
you stare at it gratefully; hoping any adult voice is on
the line-even a telemarketer.
7. You automatically say,
"Cover your mouth" when you hear someone cough or sneeze –
even at Wal-Mart.
8. You find yourself
singing along with songs from "Sesame Street".
9. You revert back to
calling your parents Mommy and Daddy.
10. When at a party for
adults, you come back from the bathroom and everyone is
either staring at you or avoiding your eyes. Then you
realize you had announced to the whole room where you were
going and what you were going to do.
Copyright 1998 By Phyllis Edge-Williams
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