My 2
year old and I entered the bagel bakery with great hopes
of different things. I wanted to get out of there in
less than ten minutes with our breakfast. She wanted
cream cheese with a side of bagel. For her, the bagel
itself was nothing more than a tool used to transport
the white spread towards her mouth.
Grace was all about white. White shirts, white dresses,
white nightgowns. The moment I’d clothe her dolls she’d
strip them back down to expose the white fabric that
made up their torsos. Warm milk was her drink of choice.
And the white accoutrements…sour cream, cream cheese,
mayonnaise and whipped cream all lined our fridge door
like snowmen.
As
I leaned over the counter to place our order, Grace
turned to the lady next to us and said, “My mommy has a
baby in her tummy.”
“Oh
does she?” said the nice lady.
“I
going to be a big sister.”
“Isn’t that nice.”
“Yeah.”
The
nice lady turned to me. “She speaks very well.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“My
mommy puts whipped cream on my gy-nie. Make it feel
good.”
The
nice lady turned to me. So did the people in front of
her. I smiled and pulled Grace close.
“No, no, Sweetie.” I forced a laugh. “That’s Desitin.”
Where were our bagels?
“NO
des-a-tin. WHIPPED CREAM like on my JELLO.”
“Grace,” I said in a low voice, “relax.”
“NO! I GOTS WHIPPED CREAM ON MY GY-NIE.” She plopped
down on the floor and reached under her dress for her
(white) panties. “I show you!” The store went silent. A
few too many people leaned over.
I
heaved the irate child over my shoulder, paid for the
bagels and made a hobbling escape out the door and
towards the car. I kept my eyes forward as I buckled her
into the car seat. She pulled her bagel out of the bag.
I took a
deep breath and backed out of the parking spot. I caught
Grace’s reflection in the rearview mirror; a white
goatee already lined her lips. As I drove away and took
a bite of my toasted everything bagel, I realized that
it was dry. They forgot my cream cheese.

Cynthia Ellis Kane is a freelance writer who works
in programming at PBS. InTheMotherhood.com has published
several of her stories and she is currently finishing a
mixed media book of motherhood humor. She lives with her
husband and two daughters in Arlington, Virginia.