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 Another Story Shared at ParentingHumor.com!

 

Life in the Mommy Fast Lane



Nancy Kroft, a thirty-eight year old mother of three, crams a Power Bar into her mouth, as she corrals her Lexus S.U.V. into the parking lot. It’s 4:30 P.M. and she’s just dropped off her daughter at a play date, her older son at his reading tutor, and is getting ready to haul her youngest son off to hockey practice. Kroft’s schedule is so jammed-pack with activities that she has developed Carpal Tunnel syndrome from writing in her Palm Pilot.

“Mothers these days are so over-scheduled that they have lost their ability to just be moms,” says psychotherapist Dr. Sigmund Jungstein. As children’s activities become more numerous, mothers have had to commit huge chunks of time to supervising these activities, not to mention the commitments of volunteer work and jobs. Says Jungstein, “With little or no down time, mothers have become dangerously stressed out.” In his latest book, “If These Are The Best Years of My Life, Why Am I Spending Five Hours a Day In the Car?: The Over-Scheduled Mom,” Dr. Jungstein outlines various symptoms that the over-scheduled mother may display:

1. Driving While Exasperated (DWE): Over-scheduled moms tend to spend lots of time in the car, yelling at their kids and experiencing feelings of rage and helplessness. These moms can often be found hurling French fries at unruly children, manically singing Avril Lavigne songs while crossing intersections, and running lights to make it to the next activity.

2. Decreased Imagination: Cramming a mother’s day with too many after-coffee activities leaves her with very little time for creative play, like dress-up at the local boutiques, where she can try on beautiful outfits and pretend she is a princess who can afford to buy them retail. Studies have shown that a lack of mommy down-time leads to a decrease in imagination and creativity, and we all know mothers need to be able to think creatively when trying to convince their children to perform undesirable acts.

3. Poor eating habits: When zipping from one activity to another, mothers tend to scarf down unhealthy snacks. Skittles and Sponge Bob “fruit” snacks are sometimes the only solace a mother can find when she is over-scheduled and ready to check herself into a facility for the parentally-challenged. Dinner is often grabbed on the run and eaten in a frenzy, frequently ending with the mother doubled over her keyboard, clutching her abdomen in agony, as she checks her e-mail.

If you identify with even one of the above symptoms, you could be an over-scheduled mother, and could be putting the mental health of your entire family at risk. Susan Brown, a White Plains family counselor, has seen many mothers in her practice who are clinging desperately to their sanity in the midst of the scheduling maelstrom that is their lives. “These mothers are so frenetic that they lose all sense of proportion,” says Brown. “One of my patients had to be hospitalized after she lost her Blackberry.”

“I won’t allow myself to go to the bathroom more than three times a day, unless it’s a holiday,” says Amy Shapiro, a Larchmont mother of two. “Between soccer practice, piano lessons, PTA, supervising the home renovations, and going to birthday parties every weekend, there just isn’t time.”

Sharon Parkins, a Dobbs Ferry mother of three, says that she even has to schedule intimate moments with her husband. “We have a pretty regular 10:00 -10:30 PM slot on Sunday nights, but during foreplay I’m usually making a To Do List.”

Even the kids are worried about their moms. Thirteen-year old Sarah Lewis says that her mother is so over-burdened that she worries she will soon drop out of parenting altogether. “My mom is a wreck. She never sits down for a minute, and when she does, she is usually crouched on the floor, sobbing into a pile of school forms and swim meet schedules. What kind of message are we sending our mothers when we place a higher value on excelling in activities than on baseline mental health?”

Dr. Jungstein recommends that children coax their mothers into slowing down a bit, and perhaps by doing so, they will slow down as well. “If kids don’t pressure their mothers to be perfect in everything they do, mothers might not feel so obligated to perform 24/7.”

So the message for children is this: Tell your mother to put down her cell phone, take a deep breath, and just sit on the couch and vegetate. Help her recognize the importance of quietly appreciating her many blessings. If all that thinking makes her depressed and unable to cope with the futility of her existence, throw her the car keys and make her take you back to soccer practice. In a few minutes she’ll be too busy eating Doritos to care about her inner tranquility.



Pamela Weiler Grayson


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