I have been trying for months now to persuade Brynn to
watch TV and she absolutely refuses. If she continues on
this selfish rampage, I am never going to find time to
get dinner ordered.
Brynn needs to start thinking of others or I will be
forced to play hardball with her and cancel all of the
trimmings of her upcoming birthday party. By the time
I'm done, it wont even resemble a typical suburbanite
second birthday party. I wont hesitate to cancel the
Navy jet fighter flyover in a Barbie formation, the
simulated space rides, and the filet tartar. Gone, gone,
and gone.
I'm relieved to have Colin and Brynns' joint birthday
party invitations completed and ready to be mailed. It
wasn't very difficult constructing the list of invitees.
I decided I would not break tradition and would follow
carefully crafted common birthday party etiquette.
Therefore, the list of those invited to this combination
2nd/3rd birthday party includes only the following
people:
* Everyone we've ever met in our entire lives.
* Those people we haven't met in our entire lives but
who know people that we have met in our entire lives.
* Phoebe the Clown.
I really wanted to keep things simple this year, and
since the number of people invited to this party is only
able to be represented numerically using scientific
notation (4.567 x 10 to the 8th power plus Phoebe the
Clown), I decided to have the party at the park. Its
inexpensive and perfect for any number of people. I
drove over to check-out the Ramada we reserved and to
discuss with the city the possibility of them building a
dome over the park for Colin and Brynn's birthday party
because I really don't want to have to be stressed about
the weather dampening our fun. I didn't sense the city
folks were fully grasping the urgent nature of this
situation. Am I being unreasonable? Kidding. Obviously
Im not being unreasonable. That's why I've instructed
the Navy to throw a tarp down over the park immediately
following the flyover.
Uh oh. Maybe my ex-boyfriends were right. Maybe I am
crazy.

Sheri Granger is the mother of Irish twins, born eleven
months apart. She's going to be more careful next time!
Sheri is a former middle school teacher and phenomenal
cook. Just last night she made Spaghetti O's WITH
meatballs. Sheri rocks the microwave! Please check out
her web site at www.myminivanisfasterthanyours.com.