The Truth About Kid's Birthday Parties
By: Debbie Farmer

Where kid's birthday parties are concerned, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who, thanks to a combination of planning, mother nature, or plain old good luck, happened to have a child whose birthday falls on a good weather month. And then there are the rest of us.

It's easy to tell who belongs in the first group because they're the ones enthusiastically planning big outdoorsy type parties, usually involving swimming pools, water balloons and loads of children. While the parents in the second group spend months desperately racking their brains trying to find some place, anyplace, indoors to hold a birthday party to keep from having it at their house.

I know this because I have as son with, you guessed it, a winter birthday. Every year, starting late fall, I lye awake nights trying to think up somewhere to throw a kid's party that is a) large enough, b) not somewhere he's had a party before and c) within reasonable driving distance. Now you'd think this wouldn't be so hard. You would think. But the problem is, after eight years, the only places left that meet these criteria are the local Post Office or the DMV. <continued below>
 

Sure, I could try having it at my house. I could also try blanket weaving and making my own jelly. Okay, okay, we all know a few brave souls whom, for reasons unknown to us, enjoy throwing birthday parties at their house. Granted, these are usually the same types of people who aren't rattled by chocolate frosting smeared in their white carpet or the sound of breaking glass.

Take, for instance, my ultra organized friend Carol. Each January she invites a dozen or so kid's over to celebrate her daughter's birthday. She has it all planned out: First a nice simple craft, then a game or two, followed by cake and ice cream, and finally presents minutes before everyone is picked up to go home. It's amazing, really, how she manages to pull it off year after year.

That is, until this year when, due to an unfortunate series of miscalculations, the birthday party ended a full ten minutes before the parents were due to arrive. Thus creating the one situation you must avoid at all costs: free time. Now, ten minutes may not seem like very long to you, but everyone who has ever tried to control a group of kids wired on cake and ice cream knows, ten minutes is just enough time to break into the bedroom, try on the good lipstick, chase the cat into the linen closet, pop all of the balloons, hang toilet paper from the chandelier, and play with all of the presents. Needless to say, as soon as the last guest pulled away, Carol got on the phone and reserved the skating rink for next year.

Then there's my friend quick-witted friend Martha who not only planned a fairy princess party at her house, but made the cake as well. (Mind you, not one, but TWO crucial mistakes) She spent the entire day making a castle only to have it collapse minutes before the party was due to start. Out of desperation, she diverted the guests with a flimsy story about an unfortunate encounter with a fire-breathing dragon.

Then there's my friend Jenny who, during one particularly bizarre home party, found someone's baby sleeping on her bed.

That's the thing about running birthday parties, you can ever be quite sure what will happen next.

The easiest solution would be to by pass them altogether, but that doesn't seem to be an option. My son has come to expect things like friends and cake and presents on his birthday and I doubt I could slip it past him. Besides, it's not like I don't enjoy birthday parties. I do. I just know my limitations.

Besides, the nice thing about birthday parties is whatever you do, the kids won't care as long as you put enough chocolate and glittery stuff into the favor bags.

That's the important thing, you know.
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Debbie Farmer writes the syndicated column, Family Daze. You can read about her upcoming book "Don't Put Lipstick on the Cat!" and sign up for a *free* monthly column at: http://www.familydaze.com