*You know who Rheaneas and Skarlowie are.
*Your "don't leave home without it" list includes sippy
cups (filled with watered-down juice, of course), wet
wipes, spare pants, underwear and socks,granola bars,
lollipops, pull-ups/diapers, several board books, and
band-aids.
*When asked, "What's that tune you're humming?", you are
not at all surprised to realize it was "Fruit Salad, Yummy
Yummy".
*You are not embarrassed to sing several verses of "Fruit
Salad, Yummy Yummy", rather loudly, in the supermarket, if
that is what it takes to keep the kids occupied and get
the shopping done.
*You find yourself discussing holes in the plot of "Dora
the Explorer" with your husband or SAHM friends.
*"Because I said so" has become a perfectly logical and
acceptable answer to "Why?"
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*You have (falsely) told your children that one or more of
the following items is "broken" or "sleeping" on occasion,
to get out of using it: the TV, an annoying video or CD,
an annoying toy, the 25-cent merry-go-round in front of
WalMart, yourself.
*You fully expect to find play-doh in the bathroom sink,
LIttle People in the laundry basket, plastic dinner plates
under your bed.
*You are sure that you will never go to the bathroom
without "company" again.
*If it doesn't have a drive-up window, you don't go to it.
*Sushi and champagne have been replaced by frozen fish
sticks and white 100% grape juice.
*You make a sandwich for yourself or your husband and
automatically cut it in quarters.
*Pop Quiz: the kids are taking an unexpected nap! Do you:
A) flop on the couch, flip through a magazine, flick
through the channels; B) throw on a load of laundry, pay
bills while it's washing, toss the wet clothes in the
dryer, wash the kitchen floor while the laundry dries,
pick up and put away toys while the floor dries...
*You sit down to update your resume for the first time in
five years and come up with the following titles to
describe what you do at home: maid, barber, nurse,
short-order cook, juggler, chauffeur, entertainer, judge,
jury, executioner, personal shopper, economist,
accountant, referee, social secretary, warden.
*You have changed nearly every diaper, cleaned up every
bodily-function "accident", endured every tantrum,
meltdown, sibling battle and are actually glad you "didn't
miss a thing".
*You know that motherhood is the hardest job you've ever
had but you are so much better at it than you ever
expected to be.
Norma Walsh
I am a 36-year old SAHM of two girls, 4 and 3, who were
born 14 months apart.
