I enjoy that task about as much as the drag queen look. During winter, I can let a few days slip by and no one's the wiser--unless I let on that I'm having a bad leg hair day. Now that summer's here, my razor and I will be tight as a tube top.

I remember the first time I de-haired my legs. Darn tweezers took forever! I tried an electric shaver but it barely trimmed the hedge so I graduated to a razor.

Advertisements for the one I used claimed it wouldn't hurt a thigh. Maybe so, but by the time it reached my shins, it morphed into Jeffery Dahmer. I've gotten more adept in my old age though. Now I only buy Band-Aids once a month.

Changing blades regularly helps avoid that attractive razor burn effect. My legs used to look like barber poles. Then I'd top them off with one of those after-shave body sprays manufactured by Attila the Hun. If any of you ladies use them, I feel your pain. <continued below>

Razors aren't the only means of removing follicles, of course. Some women use cream depilatories, which are smoothed on and wiped away. These smell like turpentine and are every bit as gentle.

Waxing is another viable alternative, provided you have no feeling below your waist. And you can use the leftovers to strip floor wax.

Then there are those personal electrolysis devices. I never tried them but I think I'm in the minority. Every tag sale I go to has one displayed with a bloodstained sign reading, "USED ONCE."

We ladies go to great lengths to combat five o'clock shadow. I find it ironic that we spend a lifetime ridding ourselves of hair when so many guys wish they had some. I would gladly donate mine if I could. And that's the bald truth

I'd like to pursue this matter further, take my case public, but not right now - there are garage sale bargains to be found!

For more of Corky Corcoran's humor, see her weekly column in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram Online. Visit her site.