Let's take a look at the winners in each category...

The Company's Coming Super Cleanup Championship- The titleholder is Christine Johnson of Buchwald Connecticut. Christine successfully transformed her home from chaos to presentable in exactly 6 minutes 14.5 seconds. Her ingenious ploy of hiding dirty dishes in the oven, the dumping of toys, papers and other miscellaneous household debris into the bathtub and pulling the shower curtain, as well as her astute use of low lighting and room deodorizer, in conjunction with the judicious closing of bedroom doors, made her unbeatable in this event.

Power Showering- The champion is Mary Higginbottom of Oak Park Oregon. Mary, the mother of 3 pre-school age children, was able to strip, jump into the shower, wash and shampoo in 46 seconds flat. She was so fast, her children didn't even realize she was missing and no household disasters occurred during the entire process. (Extra points were awarded for this.)

Art Project Completion Contest- The hands-down winner was Earline Howard of Littleville, Florida. Earline was able to construct an amazingly realistic version of the Eiffel Tower using only Dixie cups, tape, and elbow macaroni. Plus, the kid got an A. An incredible performance! <continued below>

Minivan Carpool Marathon- Elizabeth Humphreys of Elm Grove Oklahoma turned in a record-smashing time of 36 hours 34 minutes of continuous transportation. Total cargo picked up and deposited on time and in good condition: 17 kids, 1 dog, 1 thrift shop card table, 2 Beanie babies, 11 bags of groceries, 2 dry-cleaned shirts, 30 lbs. of soccer equipment, 42 cupcakes, 21 Happy Meals with drinks and 11 school-play costumes. Total miles driven: 8,000. (The half-hour she spent napping in the back of her minivan during her son's soccer game was not deducted from her total time.)

Dangerous Thing Quick-Snatch- The prize in this category was taken by Lynnette Quist of Deerfield California. Lynette was able to leap four piles of dirty laundry in a single bound to quickly grab a pointy-tipped letter opener away from her three-year-old daughter. Wow, her amazing agility and speed averted a possible " you'll put your eye out with that" disaster.

Story Repetition Read-Off- First place honors go to Angela Dixon of Tarrantville Louisiana for successfully reading Go Dog, Go aloud 25 times back- to-back, infusing the story with vocal excitement during each rendition --without skipping pages.

The rest of the competition was cancelled because everyone had to go home to cook dinner. All competitors received cents-off coupons for hair coloring and wrinkle cream.

Be sure to join us next year for The Mommy Olympics! You have every day of the coming year for rigorous, intensive training!