Pamela: The players are coming on the field now, ready for today's big match.

Me: Why is that guy wearing black rouge on his cheeks? His complexion screams for taupe, don't you think?

Pamela: Could be, Corky. They're in the huddle now discussing that all-important first play.

Me: No way, Pam. They're gossiping about those other guys. Probably wondering what size that big hunk Number 64 wears.

Pamela: Now they're at the line of scrimmage. The ball is snapped...

Me: The quarterback hands the ball to -- wait a minute! Where did it go? I hate it when he fakes a handoff.

Pamela: He's backing up for a long pass. But no! He's been sacked by a defensive end. <continued below>

Me: That big bully! He got the quarterback's uniform dirty, too. They oughta kick him out!

Pamela: That's his job, Corky. I know what you mean, though. Sometimes football gets a little rough. It's second down now. Again he's looking to pass... It's a little overthrown but the wide receiver makes a fantastic catch!

Me: I doubt it. He may be single and rich, but you can bet all he thinks about is football. Wait a minute! He's running toward the goal line. Ohmygawd! He scored a home run!

Pamela: That's called a touchdown.

Me: Whatever. Did you see that play, Pam? It was absolutely phenomenal!

Pamela: You sound like the late, great Howard Cosell when you use words like that.

Me: Late, great? What d'ya mean? He's alive and well and living in my thesaurus.

Pamela: The crowd is wild! Did you see the camera zoom in on that zealous cheerleader, Corky?

Me: She's gonna catch pneumonia dressed like that.

Pamela: They're all dressed like that.

Me: Yeah, can you believe that? I'm really embarrassed when someone else has on the same outfit as me!

Pamela: Hmmm.

Me: What size d'ya think she wears anyway?

For more of Corky Corcoran's humor, see her weekly column in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram Online. Visit her site.