My husband has
another love, but it is not a woman. It is many men...on a
field... in a stadium. It is a football team -- the West
Virginia University Mountaineers. Every fall, my husband
spends his weekends with them.
While I am enjoying serene outings with
our two children, amidst the changing of the leaves, my
husband is cheering for a little brown ball being carried
across a line at the end of a field. This is not my idea
of family "quality" time. What we really need is to have
some fun together.
So where is the family unity I long for?
It’s at the stadium, and I have no other choice but to go
there and look for it. But first, I must allow myself to
be bamboozled (West Virginia talk for brainwashed). Then,
I must make sure our children are bamboozled, as well.
Slowly, we will become Mountaineer fans! <continued
Yes, I’ve conceded defeat, befriended
the opposition, and am now recruiting my kids to be future
Mountaineers, all for the sake of our family unity. As
preschoolers everywhere are learning their ABC’s, mine are
singing an exuberant rendition of John Denver’s "Take Me
Home - Country Roads" (West Virginia’s unofficial theme
song). We are quite proud, even though my daughter sings
"crunchy roads" instead of "country roads." And, when my
son loudly sings "wet vagina - mountain mama," we are more
than a little embarrassed. Now that the brainwashing is
complete, phonics is our next priority!
Without a doubt, the football enthusiasm
emoting from our household is infectious. As we embark
upon another Fall season, I am giving up my visions of
sweet family moments under colorful trees. Instead, I
will be in the stands, trying to keep the kids seated,
getting drinks and food to pacify them for just another
few minutes, and making numerous trips to the restroom.
My husband, on the other hand, will be
an entity unto himself -- deaf to all outside noise (due
to the radio earplugs transmitting blow-by-blow game
action directly to his ear drums), and blind to anything
but the men on the field -- all amidst the sweetness of
our family unity!
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