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We've all done it, you know.
At one time or another, everyone will.
What was that? Not ME, you protest! Don't be so sure, you
say?
The "It" I am referring to is the ULTIMATE mistake in
parent talk...the rude, ugly, fussy, whiny, or otherwise
unpleasant comment you let slip out in conversation with
your partner, your sister, your best pal, that
inadvertently got overheard by your youngster. And
repeated. Loudly. To the subject of the comment. Usually
in the midst of a crowded family get together.
Yeah, I thought so. Gotcha!
I have my own horror storied regarding this, enough to
fill dozens of columns, but this time, I am sharing my
sister-in-law's own little tale of terror. My former
sister-in-law, that is. (No, this incident didn't kick her
out of the family!)
She and my baby brother have always had a passionate if
tempestuous relationship. On the way to the big family
dinner last Christmas, they unwisely bickered back and
forth about non-family related matters, when she decided
to pull out the big guns to drive home a point...she
brought the mother-in-law into it. Our mother. And it got
U-G-L-Y! On and on this went, for miles, with voices
getting raised, and some poor choices of adjectives being
batted between them....and all of this being heard and
filed away by their very intelligent young five year old,
whom both thought was napping.
By the time they arrived at the dinner location, the
matter had been tabled for later. Out they hopped from the
car, and in they went. My nephew made a beeline for my
mother, chanting as he went, "Mamaw, mamaw, mommy called
you a BAD word!" Over and over and over...As he passed my
step-father, he tossed a hi,"And she doesn't like YOU
either!" Now, the more polite of us were snickering behind
our hands, but some of the less genteel were rolling in
the floor, as he continued to announce this, louder and
louder! My mother, swweet soul that she is, tried to shush
him and say that it was okay, and get him to at least pipe
down, but you can imagine the look of abject horror on my
sister-in-law's face! You just had to feel bad for her! My
mother was actually amused and took it in stride, but my
brother was embarrassed and my sister-in-law actually
walked back out the door... she sat out there, on the
front porch swing, smoking in the snow, waiting for the
worst. My mother went graciously out to comfort her, and
she sheepishly apologized! It was a hard lesson, but one
that made a definite impression! Do NOT have these kind of
discussions in front of the little ones! While you're at
it, try not to fight at all! But hey, let's be realistic!
Even if you've never been "outed" about your personal
thoughts regarding the in-laws, the teacher, your
neighbor, etc., I bet you have let that errant word slip
in a fit of anger, that got overheard by your small fry
and REPEATED gleefully at the worst possible time! It
happens. When it does, we just have to grin and bare it.
Now, was I right? It HAS happened to you?
Mmm hmm...thought so!
Jennie Hobgood
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