Funny articles on parenting, kids and marriage!

"I often think of Santa Claus,
And what he does each day.
Does he live like a movie star,
or in a simple way?

I wonder, does he ever shave?
Do you think he's on a diet?
He's always shouting "Ho, Ho, Ho,"
do you think sometimes he's quiet?

How does he squeeze down all the chimneys?
Why is his suit so red?
What happens if his coat gets dirty?
Can he dry-clean on his sled?

Do you think he has a favorite color?
A favorite book or song?
Perhaps he just likes Christmas Carols,
and plays them all year long.
<continued below>

I wonder if he loses things?
Does food catch in his beard?
And what's his favorite late-night snack?
Snow-Cones would be weird!

Does he go swimming in the Summer?
Do you think that he can float?
Does he play horseshoes, golf, or tennis,
or go sailing on a boat?

What does he do when it's not Christmas?
Does he go on vacation?
Perhaps he brings a mobile phone?
I'll check with Information.

I'd really like to phone him now,
but would my call get through?
Or would an elfin operator
just tell me what to do?

I'd ask him how his life began.
Does he have a Mom or Dad?
And is he jolly all the time,
or is he ever sad?

And does he hear me when I talk?
Or should I write a letter?
Maybe I should type and fax it?
Would e-mail work much better?

I wonder, could I visit him?
The North Pole's far away.
Could I get there on a bus or plane,
or only on a sleigh?

And if I went what should I bring?
After all he's given me --
I'd surely like to bring some gift
to place beneath his tree!

But what could I give Santa Claus
he's not already got?
I sure can't think of anything,
and boy, I think a lot!

I guess I'd only tell him, "Thanks!"
for everything he's done.
For working so hard every year
to make each Christmas fun.

I'd also thank his wife and elves
for everything they do.
And then I'd look for Rudolph's nose,
and thank the reindeer too.

Perhaps then Santa Claus would take me
riding on his sleigh.
I bet we'd fly around the world
in less than half a day!

And maybe Santa Claus would ask
ME to try to steer!
I could become his trusty pilot
and ride with him each year!

And when he's answered all my questions,
you'll hear those sleigh-bells jingle --
'cause I'll be bringing YOU the answers,
so you can know Kriss Kringle.
"