Drive Your Computer Geek Crazy

16. Using their e-mail address, post a request for pen pals to the alt.prison.bodypiercing newsgroup.

15. Three words: electric mouse buzzer.

14. Assign them to the new “Heaven’s Gate” project.

13.”Look, Bill Gates!! Ha! Made ya look!”

12. Put them in the same room with a member of the opposite sex.

11. “Have you got Prince Albert in a LAN?”

10. Tell them that “everyone knows Star Trek transporter technology is bogus.”

9. 10 GO TO 10

7. Swap their monitor for a large cardboard box with hand puppets. Watch the fur fly!

6. Announce that annual raises will be based on a subjective test of one’s ability to “schmooz the way the butt-kissers in Marketing do.”

8. Intercept their daily Top 5 List, then remove #8 and re-insert it between #5 and #6.

5. Pretend to “discover” a Fox TV website with a now-out-of-date “Win a Weekend with Gillian Anderson of X-Files” contest.

4. Every hour, on the hour, forward them a warning about the “Good Times” virus.

3. Call her up and ask if her program is running, and when she says “yes,” tell her “Well you better go catch it!”

2. Replace all the Jolt in the soda machine with Perrier and V8.

and the Number 1 April Fool’s Day Prank to Pull on Programmers…

1. Special announcement: “Forget Java — Starting immediately, all coding will be done in COBOL.”

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